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So, That Didn't Go As I'd Planned...

Last October, as I taught Genius Bootcamp, I received some direction about what to do next, for which I was so grateful.  It led me to talk to the principal at my kids' school, which led to a job that has been a great blessing for our family.  It also provided me the opportunity to renew my teaching license, which in turn has opened up additional employment opportunities.  Andy and I have both felt that for us to reach our financial and family goals--that of following our church leaders' counsel and getting out of debt--that I need to get a full-time job.  Specifically, a full-time teaching job.  It is, after all, what my degree is in, and even just a few years of full time teaching will make a huge difference in our financial situation.

So I applied for some teaching jobs.  With the teacher shortage I keep hearing that Utah is facing, I didn't think twice about whether or not I'd actually get a job.  That is, until I interviewed for one that I thought would be perfect, and I didn't get it.

Okay then.

It was the one that I thought would best suit my family's needs, so as I was waiting to hear about that job, I didn't worry much about any others. Those other opportunities came and went, and still I heard nothing.  But I was starting to worry.  I asked Andy for a priesthood blessing.  In it, he told me that I would know, through the spirit, when the right opportunity came. And then I got the email telling me thanks, but no thanks. (Really?!  We don't call people any more?  Personally, I think that if you want to talk to me in person about whether or not I'd be a good fit for a job, that you should also talk to me with your actual voice about whether or not you'll actually hire me.  (Or fire me, for that matter. Read about that here.)  Informing people of employment decisions via email is tacky. *Rant over*)

So now what?

That's the big question. Answer? I don't know.  What I do know is that I've been battling feelings of rejection, discouragement, and hopelessness.  I thought I had been given direction about where to go and what to do, and none of it worked out.

Suddenly, though (like just this very moment as I was writing the previous paragraph), I am reminded of a story from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland:


I do know that I am in the Lord's hands.  It will all work out.  My greatest hope is that I am not hindering His process through my stubbornness or discouragement or whatever.  But as I've continued to pray and ask for blessings, I feel that He is pleased with me.  And that is a comfort.

I've written about the Law of Gestation.  Right now, I'm in the middle of it.  It just takes some time, I guess.  The right opportunity will come.  I'm less certain about what that opportunity will look like, but more certain that the Lord has things well in hand, and that we are being blessed right now, in this very moment, even when things feel so uncertain.

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