This summer started with some incredible optimism, as I looked ahead to a world full of possibilities. As May and school came to a close, I planned to spend great time with my family, teach a couple of Genius Bootcamps, and then spend the month of August getting ready for a full-time teaching job that I just knew was on it's way. But, not everything turns out as we plan. Read here for details.
As the summer wore on, I felt like I was in a slump. My kids were having a grand time in their summer play, and I did take the opportunity to volunteer my help for the production. I'm so glad I did. It was a great show, they had an amazing time, and I made some new friends myself. Go figure. ;)
Once the play was over, however, I had time to think about how my summer was not going according to plan. I had felt impressed to cancel the Genius Bootcamps I thought I would teach. The youth conference I was coordinating was more of a challenge than I had anticipated. And I still didn't have a teaching job lined up for the fall. I got a few texts from my principal about some positions that were available at the school where I worked last year, but none of them seemed just right. It felt like I would be stuck forever.
I was really disappointed when I did not get the jr. high teaching job I applied for. I started to doubt myself and my abilities. Fortunately, I still trusted God. I just wished I knew what he was up to! But in thinking about that "lost opportunity" at the jr. high, I recognized that it would have been a tough job. The more I thought about my personality, my skills, and the ways in which I hope to positively influence young people, the more I thought upper elementary grades were just a better fit for me. So I made a decision to work on adding an elementary teaching credential to my teaching license.
After making that decision, I was able to get back with my principal about one of the positions she had asked me about earlier in the summer: half-time fifth grade. If it was still available, I was interested! As soon as I texted her that tidbit of information, she scheduled an interview with me. I was offered the job the same day as the interview.
As soon as the month of August hit, everything moved so fast! (It feels like that was so long ago, but it's still August. Wow, how many things have happened in a month!) Once I got the job, the next thing to figure out was child care for my little boy. Nature school, though it killed me inside to have to say no to that wonderful program, was not a workable option. I visited a daycare/preschool close by, and made a call to another, but I didn't feel great about either of them. That same day, my sweet hubby called. He stopped by the office at the preschool on the college campus where he works, and low and behold, something had just opened up. It was the opportunity and location we had been hoping for. When everything came down in just such a way that it worked out for us, I knew that the Lord had been watching over us and orchestrating things for us the entire time. What a sweet reassurance!
My August was filled with training meetings and getting ready for school. Now, I'm two weeks in (really!? That's all!?), and I'm loving the students and the teachers I work with. But the sweetest part was an answer to prayers that came the Friday before school began.
It was Opening Institute, a meeting that was described to me as a big pep rally for all the teachers in the school district. During the opening video, I got the very clear and sweet impression that this was exactly where I belonged--this was the specific job and situation the Lord had prepared for me and my family, with all our gifts, abilities, and needs accounted for. It was exactly what Andy had promised me in a blessing weeks earlier--that I would know by the Spirit the right job for me. What a tender mercy, to recognize the Lord's answers to our prayers!
I started thinking yesterday about all the times that I have wanted things to go a certain way, and, according to the Lord's will, they have gone differently than I had hoped. For things to go the Lord's way, of course, I've had to let go of my own will, which has been a hugely humbling experience. But also, I'm starting to recognize that when I rely on God, when I trust that His will for my life is better than mine, things work out. And in miraculous ways, too. When I try to control the outcome, everything is a fight. When I try to control the outcome, I experience frustration with my circumstances and the people around me. When I try to control the outcome, I experience anxiety and worry over every single step in the process. But when I trust in Heavenly Father, all of that goes away. Now, there is a fair amount of anxiety associated with that process, as I learn to fully trust God in all things, but it's a different anxiety than what I experience by trying--and failing--to control things outside of my control. When I trust him and just do what he puts in my path, things go better. It helps me to be happy and thankful for whatever he sends me, because I know that 1) he will help me through it, and 2) it will all work together for my good (see the Law of Polarity).
There is power in taking things as they come--going with the flow of life. Worrying over everything that goes "wrong," replaying the "it wasn't supposed to be this way!" record in our minds every moment of every day--all that will bring us is bitterness. Yes, we experience sorrow. And there is a time and need for us to have those experiences. But then to take them as they are, and decide to move forward with faith instead of trying to fight the circumstances that we cannot change...it opens our hearts to the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And that is a good place to be--held safely and securely in His all-powerful hands.
As the summer wore on, I felt like I was in a slump. My kids were having a grand time in their summer play, and I did take the opportunity to volunteer my help for the production. I'm so glad I did. It was a great show, they had an amazing time, and I made some new friends myself. Go figure. ;)
Once the play was over, however, I had time to think about how my summer was not going according to plan. I had felt impressed to cancel the Genius Bootcamps I thought I would teach. The youth conference I was coordinating was more of a challenge than I had anticipated. And I still didn't have a teaching job lined up for the fall. I got a few texts from my principal about some positions that were available at the school where I worked last year, but none of them seemed just right. It felt like I would be stuck forever.
I was really disappointed when I did not get the jr. high teaching job I applied for. I started to doubt myself and my abilities. Fortunately, I still trusted God. I just wished I knew what he was up to! But in thinking about that "lost opportunity" at the jr. high, I recognized that it would have been a tough job. The more I thought about my personality, my skills, and the ways in which I hope to positively influence young people, the more I thought upper elementary grades were just a better fit for me. So I made a decision to work on adding an elementary teaching credential to my teaching license.
After making that decision, I was able to get back with my principal about one of the positions she had asked me about earlier in the summer: half-time fifth grade. If it was still available, I was interested! As soon as I texted her that tidbit of information, she scheduled an interview with me. I was offered the job the same day as the interview.
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| First day of school...as a teacher! |
My August was filled with training meetings and getting ready for school. Now, I'm two weeks in (really!? That's all!?), and I'm loving the students and the teachers I work with. But the sweetest part was an answer to prayers that came the Friday before school began.
It was Opening Institute, a meeting that was described to me as a big pep rally for all the teachers in the school district. During the opening video, I got the very clear and sweet impression that this was exactly where I belonged--this was the specific job and situation the Lord had prepared for me and my family, with all our gifts, abilities, and needs accounted for. It was exactly what Andy had promised me in a blessing weeks earlier--that I would know by the Spirit the right job for me. What a tender mercy, to recognize the Lord's answers to our prayers!
I started thinking yesterday about all the times that I have wanted things to go a certain way, and, according to the Lord's will, they have gone differently than I had hoped. For things to go the Lord's way, of course, I've had to let go of my own will, which has been a hugely humbling experience. But also, I'm starting to recognize that when I rely on God, when I trust that His will for my life is better than mine, things work out. And in miraculous ways, too. When I try to control the outcome, everything is a fight. When I try to control the outcome, I experience frustration with my circumstances and the people around me. When I try to control the outcome, I experience anxiety and worry over every single step in the process. But when I trust in Heavenly Father, all of that goes away. Now, there is a fair amount of anxiety associated with that process, as I learn to fully trust God in all things, but it's a different anxiety than what I experience by trying--and failing--to control things outside of my control. When I trust him and just do what he puts in my path, things go better. It helps me to be happy and thankful for whatever he sends me, because I know that 1) he will help me through it, and 2) it will all work together for my good (see the Law of Polarity).
There is power in taking things as they come--going with the flow of life. Worrying over everything that goes "wrong," replaying the "it wasn't supposed to be this way!" record in our minds every moment of every day--all that will bring us is bitterness. Yes, we experience sorrow. And there is a time and need for us to have those experiences. But then to take them as they are, and decide to move forward with faith instead of trying to fight the circumstances that we cannot change...it opens our hearts to the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. And that is a good place to be--held safely and securely in His all-powerful hands.
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